My Book Project--Confessions of a serial monogamist
I just had a flash of inspiration! I have always wanted to write a book, and I just found the perfect title for a story I have wanted to do. It will be inspired by my misadventures in dating, and I am going to call it Confessions of A Serial Monogamist: The Misadventures of the Whyte Ninja. I can't decide if I want to do this more as a funny nonfiction, or try writing a piece and just use my life as a leaping off point. I want to start character descriptions and outlines this week, and keep them here or in my livejournal.
Yes things are officially over with Sara. I don't know exactly if there was another guy, but I do know the things that I did wrong. They all fit in with mistakes I have made throughout my relationship journeys. I vent about exes, which is construed as comparing a current person to an ex no matter how awesome I say the current is. The fact is the past is mentioned, so regardless of what follows it is still simply comparing--everyone hates to be compared. That is a sure fire way to send someone running, packing, or both. Never ever say you love someone. Not even under penalty of death. I don't care if there is a steak wrapped around your cock and a hungry wolverine close at hand--DO NOT SAY SHIT! Dude, take the hit and just piss yourself so the wolverine will lose interest and not want the steak. You are more likely to have your cock and balls grow back after facing down a rabid animal, than from getting them cut off via an emasculating encounter with a chick. Why? Well I would say statistics indicate a much higher percentage of female genitalia removal than wolverine beheading for one. Also, women talk! The female gender has a more elaborate network of informats, agents, and spies than the CIA, KGB, Interpol, and BMG combined! You fuck up with one girl, you are marked and catalogued for the rest of your days. Your dossier is handed out to all of the best and most desirable females you could imagine, so you will be blacklisted--and blue-balled--from any future covert ops.
Yes things are officially over with Sara. I don't know exactly if there was another guy, but I do know the things that I did wrong. They all fit in with mistakes I have made throughout my relationship journeys. I vent about exes, which is construed as comparing a current person to an ex no matter how awesome I say the current is. The fact is the past is mentioned, so regardless of what follows it is still simply comparing--everyone hates to be compared. That is a sure fire way to send someone running, packing, or both. Never ever say you love someone. Not even under penalty of death. I don't care if there is a steak wrapped around your cock and a hungry wolverine close at hand--DO NOT SAY SHIT! Dude, take the hit and just piss yourself so the wolverine will lose interest and not want the steak. You are more likely to have your cock and balls grow back after facing down a rabid animal, than from getting them cut off via an emasculating encounter with a chick. Why? Well I would say statistics indicate a much higher percentage of female genitalia removal than wolverine beheading for one. Also, women talk! The female gender has a more elaborate network of informats, agents, and spies than the CIA, KGB, Interpol, and BMG combined! You fuck up with one girl, you are marked and catalogued for the rest of your days. Your dossier is handed out to all of the best and most desirable females you could imagine, so you will be blacklisted--and blue-balled--from any future covert ops.